| Pick |
Lolcat Type |
Effect |
| 1 | Anime Cat | Considered Single-Classed if all classes are in the joke group. |
| 1 | Beer Cat | -SL×3 dmg/att; -SL Dex, Int, Wis. |
| 1 | Spider Cat | Spider climb; 1M: Web. |
| 1 | Spooky Cat | Fear aura 10×LVL ft (save). |
| 1 | Stalker Cat | Free Tracking proficiency and free Tracking feat. |
| 2 | Babushka Cat | +LVL AT; acts as Hat of Disguise; resist cold. |
| 2 | Happy Cat | +2 Cha; +LVL ranks in Diplomacy. |
| 2 | Hover Cat | You fly at 12" (Clumsy). |
| 2 | Procrastination Cat | 1M: Slow 1 group (save). |
| 2 | Trash Cat | Equipment costs half; free shield proficiency; −2 Cha. |
| 3 | Emo Cat | Gain free Blood as Power feat; DR 10/+2; free Fairy spell progression. |
| 3 | Invisible Cat | You are invisible. |
| 3 | Klingon Cat | +2 Str; +1 to number of attacks/rd (not per arm). |
| 3 | Ostrich Cat | Escape to your own pocket dimension; 1M: Rope Trick. |
| 3 | Quantum Cat | Mirror Image, Blur, Blinking. |
| 4 | Fast Cat | ×2 movement; +1V; +5 AC. |
| 4 | Fat Cat | +LVL AC/saves; −5 Dex; LVL slots in Healing proficiency. |
| 4 | Fire Cat | 0: Pay X hp to gain +X TH/+X dmg this round; immune fire; resist heat. |
| 4 | Layzur Cat | 1M: Pick element E=1–3; deal LVL d6 dmg to 1 group (save for ½). |
| 4 | Terminator Cat | Can buy musketeer weapons; TR = 10×LVL%. |
| 5 | Buddha Cat | +3 Wis; +3 Int; Class IV Esper Blind (optional). |
| 5 | Ceiling Cat | 1F: Perform a 1st-level Sightseer rogue ability at 50% + LVL×10%. |
| 5 | Concerto Cat | 1V: Bard song at 30% + LVL×5% (Song of Battle: +1 TH/dmg/saves per 10%). |
| 5 | Vampire Cat | Vampiric regeneration 100%. |
| 5 | Zombie Cat | +1 revive slot; free undead racial adjective. |
| 6 | Mayor Cat | You act as a Rod of Ruling. |
| 6 | Sad Cat | Pick an action; lockdown that action in the room. |
| 6 | Santa Cat | 1F, 1/reset: Create 100×LVL XP magic items. |
| 6 | Serious Cat | +LVL TH / +LVL dmg. |
| 7 | Boneless Cat | DR 10/−; plasticity; −3 Str. |
| 7 | Ghost Cat | 1M: Etherealness; +10 turn resistance; age LVL d4 years by touch. |
| 7 | Monorail Cat | 1V: Teleport without Error; 1M: Planeshift; at 12th: 1F: Between. |
| 8 | Jeezus Cat | 1/reset: Wish; +12 henchman slots; transmute water into wine. |
| 8 | Laff Cat | Mouth P: Breath laughing gas (= current hp; PPD save for ½). |
| 9 | Lawyer Cat | 0, 2/reset: Object; +5 HNCL; 0, 2/reset: Insist. |
| 13 | Don Cat | 1V: Step out of It with “Head Blown Off” at the end. |